Around 2 weeks ago, I made a plan to visit Mysore with my newborn. She was a week short of two months old.
We were to go by car (a 2 hour journey on a fancy new express highway). We would keep the baby in her boat. While in Mysore, my cousin and sister would help care for the baby and me — give the baby a bath, help me with the right food for my diet… My cousin would keep her doggy at a pet-care home for two days. We would keep the trip relaxed, so that there wouldn’t be too much roaming around after reaching Mysore.
We thought of everything and planned for it.
But two days before the trip, I chickened out.
Throughout the planning, I was constantly debating myself on whether this trip was required.
The baby’s head is still not stable. Is it safe to take her in the car?
(Yes, we can keep her in her boat and she’ll be okay.)
Won’t she feel too hot in the boat?
No, AC will be on.
The highway is a new express highway where people will be driving like maniacs. Is it safe?
Yes, you’re going in a new car, which is not supposed to be driven over 80 kmph for the first 1000 km.
But others may drive like nutters and crash into you for no fault of yours.
That, you cannot help.
This is non-essential travel. Why do you want to do it now?
Fine, drop the plan.
It was an endless debate for almost a week, where the italics finally won. So we canned the trip and stayed back at home on the weekend.
Two weeks later, it was my parents’ 40th anniversary. This time, my sister suggested that we go to a nearby resort to celebrate. We thought of it just a day in advance, and before I could overthink it, we had booked our overnight stay at a resort in the outskirts, around 41 km from home.
It was going to be our first stay outside my parents’ home. My baby’s first vacation, at 2 months and a week old.
I was very nervous the night before we left. I expressed this to my cousin, Swetha, and she said a very simple sentence that calmed me down — “It’s natural to be nervous but believe me, if you’re relaxed the child will be relaxed too.”
So I decided to relax and take things as they come. Turns out, it was a fantastic decision to head out, and for me, the weekend turned things around! It changed how I look at the baby and how to care for it. And it is for these reasons that I would not only say “It’s okay to travel with a baby,” I would definitely “recommend” travelling with a baby. (Do keep in mind the tips I’ve shared at the end of this post though!)
1. Travelling with your newborn helps you stop being over-protective
This has been the biggest change in my outlook as a mom.
Ever since my baby was born, I’ve been fussing over her — about how anyone carries her, about keeping her extra warm, about feeding her exactly on time by tracking every feed on an app (I literally tracked every two-hour feed for two months). Here’s are her feeding analytics.
In my defense, this is the first time I’m handling a baby. I’ve never even held such a tiny baby before.
At work, my boss and mentor, Arjun, kept saying, “It’s just a baby. Don’t treat it like a feather. Babies are resilient. Don’t fuss over them.”
I could never understand him. Until I went on this trip.
Within the first day, all my inhibitions of newborn care went down the drain.
First was on our drive. I had carried her boat for her safety (she’s too tiny for a car seat.) She was probably getting baked inside. But we were in a fancy new Skoda Slavia (my sister’s new car). So we turned on cool AC for the baby. Until now, I was hesitant to even turn on the fan, but here I was, allowing cold air to blow around her.
Then came lunch time. If you know me, you’ll know that I’m the kind that avoids touching dining tables at restaurants. I feel very yucky thinking about the past food on it. But here we were, with the baby kept in the middle of the table, while we all sat around her and ate.
Then came evening time at the resort. So far, I had avoided exposing her to cool evening air and generally avoided exposing her to natural elements after the sun goes down. But here was dusk and cool wind, and the baby was with us just like that, not even in her boat, not even wearing a skull cap.
That night was her first night outside of a mosquito net, that too at a resort in the middle of forests. She got four nice mosquito bites on her face (thankfully, the rest of her body was covered).
So within the day, I realised that nothing drastic is going to happen to her. I learnt to relax a bit when it comes to her safety. I’m not overprotective and panicky anymore.
2. You become more confident as a mom
At Indiahikes, we always say that trekking makes you more confident. If you’ve battled the crazy cold of the Himalayas, stayed in the wild for a week and climbed a summit, you feel invincible! You think, “If I’ve done this, I can do anything!”
I got a similar feeling after taking my baby out for two days. It gave me a lot of confidence that I can manage the baby with very little. It removed the complexity of baby care and stripped it down to basics — food, sleep, warmth and hygiene. If all these are in place, everything else is a bonus (which you can make do without).
Here, my friend Supriya and her husband gave me a wonderful tip about food. They said “Travel when the baby is still breastfeeding. That way, if she’s hungry, you can stop and feed anywhere. You don’t have to carry a thing with you!” That rung so true, because I could even sit in the car and feed her while driving back on the highway. So I never had to worry about food. I’m sure travel won’t be as simple 3-4 months down the line.
I was still worried about her potty and sleep.
When we left, she hadn’t done potty in 72 hours. This was her first transition from 4-5 potties a day to one potty in three days, which happens after the second month. So I was quite anxious. But that evening at the resort, she did three huge potties. She was very happy after that and so was I. I did have a shortage of nappies, but we managed that too (I’ve written how in the tips section).
The only other things I was worried about was her sleep. What if she didn’t sleep all night and didn’t let me sleep (happens quite often)? What if she cried and woke others up? After all, we were sharing rooms and space with others. But she didn’t cry all night. She only squealed once as soon as she woke up, but that was equivalent to how my brother in law roared at night when Arsenal scored a winning goal against Bournemouth in the 97th minute! So no problem!
Given how smooth everything was, I felt very confident that I could manage her anywhere. Of course, I had my husband, mum, dad, sister, brother in law and even his parents there to help me. But it boosted my confidence that, with the right help, I can manage the baby well.
After that, I got the confidence to take the baby on my own in a cab to office (everyone there helped with the baby).
I have started taking her out for evening walks.
I’m much more confident about my parenting decisions now. Even today, I confidently took her for her vaccination and brought her back. I’ve stopped questioning myself. I do feel like I’m on the right track as a mom.
3. You need the relaxation
I don’t have to harp on here much. After two months of taking care of a newborn, you’re likely to be physically and mentally drained. Sleepless nights, constant nappy-changing every few hours (especially if you’re not using diapers), restricted diet, possible post-partum feelings, all of them do take a toll on you.
A small weekend out like this will really help. I played Table Tennis, went swimming, tried my hand at Snooker and archery and even took a shot at cricket.
Not only that, I stayed in a nice room in the middle of the woods. Through the French windows, I could see chickoo trees heavily laden with fruit. The entire campus was covered in trees (right from oak to neem to jackfruit and eucalyptus). It was very relaxing to be in the middle of greenery.
I also broke my breastfeeding diet and ate all kinds of food in the buffet. Those 3-4 cheat meals felt good! Even something as simple as listening to music while driving felt good.
So definitely do yourself a favour and give yourself that break. It’s worth it.
4. Your baby gets exposed to a whole new world!
My sister, who works in an education-based NGO, keeps telling me how important early childhood development is. Every single day is important in the infant’s life. What they see, what they hear, what they smell, taste, touch, everything.
At home, I’ve been able to give her some limited exposure, taking her to my terrace, showing her the gulmohar tree, coconut tree, jackfruit tree and mango tree that form a canopy here. I’ve made her smell pudina, dodhpathre, tulsi, basil, roses and jasmine from the garden. I’ve showed her Black and White books so far and sung songs to her.
But here, she was exposed to a whole new world. New colours, patterns, sounds, shapes, people, voices, smells. She stayed up throughout the return drive, so that was a bonus two hours where she sat and looked out of the window.
Now I’m not an expert, so I don’t know what she assimilated from this, but I believe any kind of exposure has new learnings. And that’s what travelling comes with. It can never be bad for the baby, no matter how old he / she is.
5 tips while travelling with a newborn
- Wait until your baby is at least 2 months old: Given that you have just given birth, you will take some time to recover. A C-section needs at least 6-8 weeks of recovery. After a regular delivery also you’ll need enough rest. Also, your child is too delicate to travel before that, its immunity is not great. By around 2 months it’s safe enough to travel.
- Research the place you’re visiting a little: Ensure you have a comfortable room with a bed where you can keep the baby. (We didn’t try to look for a crib / cradle n all). Ensure you have enough healthy food and water for yourself. Ensure basic hygiene is in place.
- Travel with people you deeply trust (outside of your husband): At any time during my travel, I could leave the baby with people I trusted. When I went swimming or played TT, my mum was taking care of the baby. My sister and her husband took the baby around the forests. It helps when you have people you trust and have them share the responsibility with you.
- Travel when you’re still breastfeeding: My friend and her husband gave me this best advice. When you’re still breastfeeding, you don’t have to think twice about the baby’s food. Once they start eating other stuff, then you have to carry all kinds of food, cutlery, sterilizers, etc along with you.
- Carry enough and more nappies: Being a trekker, I usually avoid packing for “if” situations. So I carried a bunch of nappies and 4 diapers for this trip. Turns out, my baby decided to poop 4 times within 2 hours that evening. So at 10 pm, I was left with no nappies and no diapers. My sister and her husband took the car out 4 km to find a provision store. They barely made it in time to get the diapers. You may not always get so lucky.
So those are all the tips and reasons to travel with your newborn.
I’ll end this post with a thank you to all of the people I made the first travel with. Thank you Raulo, appa, amma, Su, Aanu, Dorairaj uncle and Jaya aunty! :)